my dark place

I think that what I've figured out during my 24th year of life is that no matter how many times you with the board game Life, that doesn't mean you are really going to win at real life. No matter how many times I get married and have kids during the game of life...that doesn't mean that that's going to happen in reality. I went to my third wedding of the summer this weekend and sat at a table with four married couples. I watched another friend get married and yes I'm happy for all of them. Yippy for you...you found your one in a million. awesome. Unfortunately now matter how happy I actually am for them I am beyond sick of people in love. It's totally great for them, but really quite horrible for me. I don't want to be the 11th wheel all the time. The conclusion I have come to is that I am pretty much always going to be the person at weddings who is sitting out when the married couple has all the other married couples come and dance with them. There are times in life when you just need to realize that there's no point in fighting it anymore...you are meant for whatever it is. I am now going to stop fighting this being single thing. I'm going to work on dealing with the fact that I'm one of those people who is meant to be alone. This would be more awesome if I wasn't allergic to cats so I could have some sort of companion. It would also be nice if I had a job where I could be a hermit. That way I wouldn't have to be visible to the rest of the public who keeps telling me to be patient and that I will meet someone. Yeah right world..that is a lie that friends tell other friends just to make them feel better, when in reality there are people who don't find someone. Maybe life would be better if people could just be truthful and say...you know what, it's totally possible that you will be alone forever -- Because it is.